Hello friends~
Last week I reminisced about the years with kids at home, and how my exercise plans often went straight out the window. Some of you might be living that right now with snow days. Kids at home can be a delightful diversion, but it’s also very likely to derail your plans.
We can’t get around sick kids or the weather. It’s mom life and we roll with it. But when things get off track with no end in sight – when disruption stretches on and on? With 6 kids in those days missing a workout or a run wasn’t just about missing the exercise, I mean of course it was, but worst part was that also it turned into self-criticism, determination to run longer the next day or the next (that rarely worked anyway) and a feeling of failure that even led to food deprivation, and a cycle of negativity. Not any more.
The mental game is more impactful than the physical one. It’s a big part of athleticism – and by the way, you are an athlete if you use your body for a purpose – and it’s also a major part of being human. The mind is the driver in performance and in life. Projecting negativity, or allowing it to seep into something that hasn’t even happened yet – “catastrophizing – leads to stress and anxiety, and it never improves the outcome, like the negative belief that you’re not doing enough, not hitting certain numbers, or that lapses in training will lead to collapse of fitness. It won’t, I promise.
Getting older brings a kind of liberation. Whatever age you are, or what older means to you, we’re aging every nanosecond, and learning…and I’ve learned to be ok. It’s impossible to rigorously stick to training during certain times of the year, like right now as we move through holidays and toward the new year. It’s ok. I do what I can. I used to have pangs of sadness at Christmastime when some of the kids were celebrating with their many in-laws, but now I’m more than ok with any time this huge family can get together – I truly appreciate every moment, and I’m definitely not making the holidays such a big, stressful, f-in deal. This is me being present. During this gift giving season you can give yourself the gift of presence.
Stuff happens that can knock me off center. But I get to decide not to let it have a negative effect on me. Each challenge is an opportunity to respond gently and positively, and to keep learning. Growth isn’t linear. It’s a winding road map that we can travel, being kind to ourselves, accepting failure, and allowing time to start again, sometimes in a different direction. This is also me being present.
If any of this feels familiar, I hope it helps. Please don’t allow adversity to be an insurmountable obstacle or an excuse. As long as we keep moving forward, we’ll get where we’re meant to go… or maybe someplace different and even better.
I saw this 2021 video again today. It’s a message we all need to remember forever:
Take a few minutes to listen to this: “It’s Ok”, the original song by Jane Marczewski (she called herself Nightbirde), which she performed on America’s Got Talent to global acclaim. She died a year later from cancer. Her message was simple and so profound:
“You can’t wait for life not to be hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
It’s sadly true that aging has such a negative connotation in our culture, and don’t get me started on the industries that profit making us feel horrible about it. But aging doesn’t have to be a downward slope – we can actively be ok, to liberate ourselves into the present.
Exercise, mindfulness, getting outdoors, and therapeutic breathing (any kind!) can help you stay grounded in the moment. It may sound cliché, and it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. And it often leads to finding ways to give to others, which turns out to be another gift to you.
A gift to me: I created a youth Indoor Rowing Program several years ago as a way to use my coaching skill for kids in Asbury Park. It’s the wildest and wackiest training I do. The kids’ exuberance is a huge reward, and I’m blown away at how much they learn every week. I do it for them, and for me.
x
Polli
