Have to, want to, get to.

Hello friends~

By now you know that my newsletters and coaching are for women in the age demographic of perimenopausal and postmenopausal years – which can be 4 – 10 years or more, until menses stops at menopause, and then it’s a lifetime afterward – meaning anywhere between age 30 and beyond. Men are also welcome here of course, especially if you have a woman in your life.

Before going further, here’s Dr Stacy Sims program Women Are Not Small Men, in case you’d like to take a deep dive, and maybe take a guy with you who would like to learn more.

So what’s going on if it’s tough managing it all – family, job, community, and most important, your health?

There are many, varied symptoms that can occur through perimenopause (many of us don’t even realize what’s happening as it’s occurring). Knowledge is power: The North American Menopause Society.

You’re not alone. Every woman goes through it.

We know what we want to do, and we usually know what we need to do.

We all want good health. So we know we need to eat nutritious food and exercise (oh yes, and lift heavy stuff!).

We want to have happy, healthy relationships. So we know we need to be present and engaged.

We want to have social interactions. So we know we need to be active in our community.

We want to have a good sense of self. So we know we need to be mindful.

It’s the doing that’s hard.

These are all legitimate reasons for getting stuck:

  1. Fear of failure
  2. Feeling stressed out
  3. Difficulty getting started
  4. Perfectionism
  5. Time management
  6. Lack of accountability
  7. Not knowing how
  8. Exhaustion

If you feel caught in a continuous loop of not doing what you know you need to do, a support system can help you manage, build habits, and provide strategies that take hold over time. Meanwhile please believe in yourself.

Here’s the Grace And Grit podcast with Dr. Stacy Sims,

It’s a matter of  perspective.

Have to is believing that the thing is is up to someone else, and we’re not part of the decision. We might do the thing, but not by desire.

Want to is our choice, but it’s often vague, and can easily be squandered. You might want to go for a run, make a long-delayed call to a friend, take a nap, or cook an awesome dinner, but it might get put off.

Get to is golden. It’s believing that you deserve to do the thing. You are so special, the thing itself it’s so worth doing, and it brings open-hearted positive energy with it.

It’s a mindset that takes time to develop like a muscle. You can learn to believe that you get to do the things you want to do, or need to do.

If you’re going through perimenopause, and if your efforts to stay healthy and productive seem to be derailed, take it one step at a time. You’re worth it.

Start with a tiny mantra. Mine is “It’s ok Polli”.


Polli sunrise
Waking up early is sometimes hard, but getting to see the sun rise over the ocean is so worth it. I’m worth it.

Thank you for reading and sharing!






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