Masculinity. Strong men support women.

Hi friends~

I’m trying to avoid opening news articles about the state of the world and politics. Maybe you too?

Sometimes a news bite is unavoidable, like this toxic crap, and it really got me going. Zuckerberg says that workplaces need to “man up” –  become more masculine. He says that masculine traits like aggression are missing. Mark, this says everything about you, and issues about your masculinity. I’m not sharing the link but you can find numerous articles about it.

It’s infuriating and frightening that some men are influenced by this mentality, even embrace it. Women have worked incredibly hard to achieve parity and we’re still not there.

Maybe there’s hope…strong men do support women. 

At around that same time this morning, @TheGirlsGoneStrong instagram posted something wonderful.  Watch it. Guys are supporting women lifters. Fist bumps and high fives. The way it should be, everyone supporting one another.

In my years as a personal trainer/coach and athlete, there have been so many great interactions with guys in the gym. I always considered it our workplace, to train clients, sharing space, respecting one another. I had a coach too, helping me prepare for a powerlifting competition. He’s the age of one of my sons, and often said that he wished his mom would do strength training. We got along well, he pushed me hard, and I got strong.

During those years there was only one incident when a man relaxing on the next rack, casually watching (leering) my PR deadlift, and made the remark that deadlifts were bad for his back. When I replied that deadlifts are a great posterior chain exercise, and dependent upon good body alignment, he said, “I like the way your body is aligned.” Eyes rolled, I looked away. The comment said everything about that guy.

I was able to depend upon other guys to spot me when I was training on my own, enabling me to lift heavier with confidence. and get even stronger, especially my back squats. Spotting a back squat gets pretty intimate – watch this video on back squat spotting technique, and you’ll see what I mean. The guys who spotted me were pros and only wanted to see me succeed.

Here’s video of me being spotted in a back squat by a guy.

 

Backsquat set up
Back squat set up with a spotter ready to go.

 

Spotting
The spotter doing the job exactly right.

 

Do you have positive experiences in the gym? Negative ones?

Let’s keep working together to make spaces for everyone.

Onward~

x

Polli

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Responses

  1. Polli,
    Keep up the great work you do! You are an inspiration and I enjoy all of the insights shared in your newsletters. As for the past comments made by those around you both in the media and in the gym, talk is cheap. You’re doing the work and it shows and I’m sure I’m not the only one who sees this. Thank you for making a difference by being a positive voice in our world. It makes a difference, believe me.

    1. Thanks for reading and for your kind words Ed. That guy in the gym was an anomaly, creepy in general, and I managed to avoid/ignore him. The men I’ve trained and worked with have been great, although I know that some workout spaces don’t feel welcoming to women, especially those who are intimidated in the first place. That’s why I focus mostly on training women, so that they can work out confidently in any facility. Besides disliking him for so many other reasons, you-know-who advocating for “more masculine” work places, and saying that workplaces have been “neutered” makes him an even bigger schmuck. Btw I haven’t gotten any negative media, except for people in my city sometimes pushing against my advocacy work for equity for people walking and rolling. @asburyparkcompletestreets- making streets safe for the most vulnerable road users, changing the built environment so that drivers cannot have total control of streets and roads, which are public space. Some drivers feel entitled, some hate cyclists, and recently a guy has been furiously commenting against speed cameras in NJ, which APCSC supports. Onward!

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